Tuesday, November 2, 2010

If Only I Could Take Your Pain Away...

  I don't expect any comments on this post really, but I really feel for those of you, or anyone who has ill family members, friends, or someone you dearly love. I understand the emotional pain you go through as you helplessly watch that loved one go through their torturous ailments. I know a dear soul that's had and still has the worst health fortune in her life. Her list of ailments range from ulcerative colitis to a severe case of carpool tunnel. For years, she's been battling these disabling diseases and has been on the journey of pain alone. I mean I help her out and everything, but it's the pain that she endures on her own. The sad reality of it is that I can't do anything about her pain. Last night and the wee hours of this morning, I had taken her to urgent care due to her migraine which was the worst episode that she's ever experienced and waited for her to be diagnosed by the doctor. It was absolutely heartbreaking watching her writhe in pain; the fluorescent lights were a bothersome pain to her eyes, and the slightest movement made from her body produced yelps of pain. The doctor had her transferred to the hospital's emergency room in Glendale where I ensued after the ambulance that carried her. Up until 2 AM, nurses and doctors have attended to my idol and equipped her with IV's, a gurney to sleep in, and pain relievers. Once all the hustle and bustle subsided within Exam Room 10, I pulled up a chair to gaze onto the patient's face. My mom's face. I was relieved; she looked well-rested compared to a couple hours earlier and only spoke in whispers. When the ER's doctor excused me within the next hour, I did my ritual of "I love you's" and adieus to my mom. Driving home, my heart still pumped with hope again for her.
 This was the theme song of the night/morning that blared on my radio driving to and fro. Go Dixie Chicks!


  1. Very Powerful post Cienna. I myself have never really experienced that of seeing a person I truly love suffer the way your mother did so I can only imagine how must it hurt you deep inside. These are the types of moments that make you realize that the people we love might disappear in an instant. They will not be here forever, so we are charged with the glorious task of making sure that every waking second we spend with them, to make every second count when we are with them. I love my mother as well, very much. A bond between a mother and child is one of, if not THE strongest bond one can ever have in a lifetime. Cherish it. Live every moment you can to the fullest extent with everyone you know and love that surround you. It's a beautiful thing. I hope your mother gets better, and I hope the same for you.

  2. That was an emotional post. I’ve been through that once and I’m going through it right now with my aunt. The first time, it was my grandfather as he was dying from cancer. I remember seeing him in such a withered state and I was crying every time I went home from my grandparents’ house. He passed away three years ago but the memory of my last goodbye still remains fresh in my head. And right now, my aunt up in Canada is battling cancer, so I’m constantly praying for her recovery. This is definitely something I feel many people go through. I’ll be praying for your mom’s recovery and keep strong~!

  3. I’m very sorry this had to happen to you and your family Cienna. It must be very hard, and I wish I can tell you some good advice, but I have never been through the roller coaster of emotions that it seems you have been going through lately. You are very strong for being there for your mom, and keeping your composure through it all. Be sure to keep thinking positive because the universe will respond to your beliefs with good vibes! I know it is easier said than done, but it really does help when things seem to be falling apart. I really respect you for writing such an open post, and I truly hope everything turns out to be okay!